This article, Battle of Lumbridge, is the creative property of Ugozima.

The Battle of Lumbridge was a minor conflict in the N00b W4r, a war involving the PK'er Association, the N00b 0rd3r 0f Nit3z, and the International League of Cooks.


At a meeting of the International League of Cooks, the discussion concerned the unbelievably low prices of fish, the most readily available and highest-healing source of food. An observer from the PK'er Association began a fight with one of the representees, saying that this was the absolute best time for PK'ers. An observer from the N00b 0rd3r 0f Nit3z disagreed with the PK'er observer, as he said this would enable the PK'ers to essentially "rule" RuneScape by killing anyone they wanted. The PK'er was so angry at the N00b that he actually killed him on the spot, which angered the Pr3z of the N00b 0rd3r of Nit3z, to the point of declaring "w4r". This led to the Battle of Lumbridge.

"N00b" PurgeEdit

As the N00b 0rd3r 0f Nit3z, fought against the noble PK'er Association, the Cooks made flight from Lumbridge and held an emergency meeting in the cramped space of the Draynor Windmill. All 64 members had assembled to discuss whether to fight in the war, make alliances and supply them, or stay out of the war completely. The vote was as followed: 14% Stay out of War, 28% Make Alliances, and an overwhelming 58% Fight. So, the cooks entered their emergency supply room, and marched into the town, Wizard Robe clad with staves. Then, the leader of the Cooks decided to split the legion into two halves, one to fight the PK'ers, the other to fight the "N00b"s. With overwhelming force from both of the opposing sides, the "N00b"s' numbers plummeted to barely any. They retreated across the bridge and into Al-Kharid, where the hospitable desert people welcomed them.

The Flight of the CooksEdit

With the "N00b"s out of the way, the Runite-clad PK'ers could focus on the Cooks. Their longswords easily cut through the Cooks' robes. After the Cooks' leader became seriously hurt, they retreated to Draynor Village to lick their wounds. The PK'er Association now ruled Lumbridge! Next battle coming soon!