Entry One

Today sucked crystal balls. I mean, who eats demon horn? Wait, do you guys even know what that is? Oh boy, now I gotta tell you WHAT it is...

So I was walking home after training with my new Rune Scimitar when this ugly old dude came up to me.

He was all like, "Yo bro, you gotta do this stuff."

And I went, "NO SIR! THAT JENK IS SO POP!"

Then he was all like, "Yo, I'm talkin bout demon horn. That stuff is where it at.

And I was all up and ready to pop this guy's cap, then he pulled something out of his pocket. It looked pretty weird, and it smelled DIVINE. It must have been the horn.

Then he cracked open his dumb mouth again and said, "Hey hey hey! Eat some, dawg."

And then I went right up in that idiotic mouth, I wanted him to feel the burn. I could see him lying in the floor, and he dropped it, the demon horn. I took it and ran.

That idiotic idiot, who was so idiotic that even idioticer idiots that were idiotic than him could eat pie, was crying. I was so glad I popped him in the face and made him bleed.

Wait, scratch that above, I don't want the cops to see that.

So, I went home, and the horn was getting cold. I decided to use my Tinderbox and some wood I chopped to heat it up. It smelled better than that fried chicken my best friend Claudius's sister Clair made last Wednesday. Anyways, I took a knife, cut a piece, and then put it in my mouth. IT TASTED TERRIBLE.

Hold on a minute, I forgot that didn't really happen...

Uhh, what was I going to say? Ehh, I'll probably remember in entry 2.