Facing the Facts

Varrock

"Darako! What are you doing!" Farrell hissed at his comrade, who was dressed in black dragonhide armour.

"This!"

And at that moment, they both jumped back as there was an explosion that engulfed Varrock west bank.

"Just an explosive potion I picked up. Now get there money!"

Money started raining down, with Darako and Farrell started stuffing it in their pockets. But then the guards came.

"Freeze!"

"Holy crap, leggit!" Darako squealed.

They ran into the night, chased by a horde of guards.

24 Hours Later

"Darako! That stupid stunt of yours earned us the front page of the Avarrockian Times!" Farrell shouted, flashing the newspaper in his face.

"Ooh, a newspaper! Whats on page 3?"

"Never you mind. The Misthalin police forces are after us now. We need to leave Varrock, stat!"

"All right, all right. We may even need to leave the kingdom, actually."

"Asgarnia is not safe enough. That's it! Kandarin! A fresh start! I heard the economic crisis hasn't hit Ardougne! We should go there. Besides, I heard Tony was going there."

"But we'll have to pass through Asgarnia. No doubt they will be on the lookout too!"

"Its an appropriate risk. Besides, whats to lose? The whole planet is on the brink of financial breakdown. They probably can't afford to keep us in prison."

Darako only nodded and packed a few things in his shoulder bag. He slipped a couple of knives in there.

"We better keep our profiles low. Our heads down. Blend in."

Farrell pulled up his hood, and Darako put his facemask on.

They had been walking for a couple of days. They passed through Barbarian Village, then Ice Mountain, then Taverley, then White Wolf Mountain. They now stood on the beaches of Catherby.

"Where is everybody?" Farrell asked, as the beaches were deserted.

"Maybe they wanted to go to Ardougne! The cheap-scapes, the freakin' hobos, the mudda-"

"The buildings are wreaked. There's been an attack. And we missed the battle."

"What! Outrageous! I love a bit of violence!"

"You were super-hyper in school."

"All those years ago... I got expelled, and never bothered to join another school. School was utter crap."

"Yea, remember? Me, you and Tony got expelled for giving that dweeb Tarqinder a massive wedgie and then hung him on the central Varrock fountain!"

"Boy, if we were to meet to him again..."

But then, a lobster crawled over to them.

"Excuse me, would ya be a Farrell and Darako?"

"A talking lobster!"

"How wude!"

"I'm sorry, but its not everyday you see a talking bug."

"Actually, I'm a crustacean. I've been sent to find you too - but don't you dare ask questions about my impossibility. Everyone talks, even the Fish do."

"Woah woah, you lost me there. Talking fish? And why has Catherby turned into No Mans Land?"

"Haven't you heard? Its the Fish Uprising. After money in Catherby started disappearing, more and more people wanted to fish us. The cheek. We had enough, and destroyed this little seaside town. Well, I don't mean literally, just destroyed the spirit of it. Killed nearly everyone. They weren't expecting it. I personally pulled someone's nose off."

"Well, why should we trust you? You might pull our noses off."

"Don't worry mates, you're safe with me. But it was immense. The sharks fired harpoons into the brains of the humans. The octopi strangled people. Sea turtles became mini tanks. Crabs and lobsters like my self were pinching and scratching where we could. But the final blow was made by the electric eels. A couple of houses went up in smoke and dust, but the rest of Catherby was left undamaged, but in fear. The humans did fight back, but we overwhelmed them. Serves them right, trying to fish us, cook us and then eat us for their own stupid little battles."

Farrell and Darako turned around, and saw a few humans, scrambling about and hiding.

"What did the sea creatures do next?"

"The whole army has gone. Back into the sea, and they all went somewhere near Witchaven. Apparently, the Sea slugs have agreed to help us in our mass genocide of humans!"

"Well, who sent you? And I certainly hope we aren't included in your genocide."

"I can't say who sent me. Don't worry, no one will touch you when I'm around! Besides, I've been told you can help in a devious plot at Ardougne. I've just sent a message to my comrades, their plans have been put on hold. There's a plot bigger than mass fishing."

The lobster scuttled forwards, with the two humans cautiously following.

"We were going to Ardougne anyway, lobster."

"Call me Lobstorr. Its an o and two rs."

They followed the creature, and it lead them to Hemenster half an hour later.

"We are near the gates of Ardougne, my good friends. We will have to find someone that can smuggle us in."

"Hang on, why do we need to be smuggled in?" Farrell asked.

"If you read the newspapers, you are being hunted by the Misthalinian, Asgarnian and Kandarian police forces. And a new state of law has passed on Ardougne. Only the council members may admit people into Ardougne. They stand at all entrances, usually chucking people out. They say its for security reasons, but that all bull. Ardougne is started to over-populate, mainly because the economic plague hasn't touched the town."

"Its probably a coincidence. I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, other lands haven't been hit, so like I said, don't bother about it." It was Darako that answered this time.

But then two figures walked towards them.

"Tony!"

"Y'alright. I see you've met Lobstorr."

"So you sent it. Anyway, who's your other friend?"

"I am TzHaar-Kot-Tok of the TzHaar. It is a pleasure to meet you Farrell and Darako. TzHaar-Hah!"

Kot-Tok kept chanting "TzHaar-Hah" and slamming his fists together, like a ritual dance. Tony gestured at him to stop.

"I called upon you two because we need help getting into Ardougne. We've been chucked out, yet I called upon two master criminals to help."

"Sorry dude. Me and Farrell are wanted criminals. Three police forces are hunting us."

"One plot hole has gone down the drain. Anyway, you can still help."

But then Kot-Tok dived at the trio and they all fell into nearby bushes. Lobstorr followed them.

"What the f-"

"Sssshhhhh JalYt! Our enemies have returned!"

They all peered out, and saw an army marching past. It was no doubt the Socialists.

"They seemed to survive their trip" mumbled Tony.

"They aren't the Nasties, are they?" Darako asked.

"Oh yes they are. You've met them twice, haven't you Tony?"

"Correct. Hey look, its the General!"

The General paused, and the army stopped in its tracks.

"Darako and Farrell are wanted criminals. They are connected to Tony de Fillo. They were last sighted in Catherby. Rumours say they are heading for Ardougne. This a man hunt soldiers! If any of you see Tony, Farrell or Darako, shoot on sight! I want their bodies delivered to me. Is that understand men!"

"Yes sir!" they all said in monotone.

The army then marched in the direction of Ardougne.

"Time for a new plan team" Tony said defeatedly.

"There are five of us, and Saradomin knows what more they have. We stand no chance" Farrell gritted grimly.

"No, no matter how far we come by, I can't wait to see tomorrow in Ardougne! We are going to do this, or suffer elsewhere! Besides, Kot-Tok has enough strength to wipe out mot of their army! We shall not fail, or die trying!"

They all walked out of the bush, and stared at the sky of dust.