Gnomic Relations

Veedi Limstrood opened another jar of king worms to make a worm hole for her customer. She emptied the worms into a bowl and prepared the meal within the space of a minute. She was well-trained for cooking, and so she should be, because Veedi Limstrood ran a gnome restaurant; a failing gnome restaurant. Carrying the food to her customer, she looked noticeably sad.

"You look down," the customer said.

"So would you if your business was failing," Veedi replied.

"You are not alone there, I know plenty of other companies up here in the Grand Tree going bankrupt."

"Well I'm not going down without a fight," Veedi said slamming the worm hole down.

"Determined?"

"Very. My father told me to accept nothing but brilliance, and that is what I shall aim for; brilliance."

"I think getting even one customer is an achievement these days. I mean the other restaurants I've been to have all been as quiet. One said it hadn't seen business for three days."

"That is terrible."

"Well it's this money shortage, isn't it?"

"It seems to be affecting everyone so badly."

"Yes, so badly they can't afford to eat out in gnome restaurants, a lot of people I know have tried growing their own foodstock. The problem is the weather, all that cold air coming from the Baxtorian Falls, it kills plants, well most. The flax still grows."

"Yes, so humans can march in and uproot it, and from what I know they have their own flax fields to the east of here."

"Well that's humans for you, quantity not quality. Take a look at our technology - and the dwarven technology - it's much more complex and imaginative, but the humans create simple, boring contraptions, but they do a much better job than ours and the dwarves'."

"Maybe that's just gnomekind all over, we can't adapt to a changing world, we can't keep up with competition."

"The humans are in financial difficulty too I hear, I heard a group of men passing by here who catch kebbits and sell their meat from up near Eagle's Peak. They said about not getting much business and a decline in trade."

"Most unfortunate, but they have a very extensive empire, we are few in number though, we have nowhere to turn in times of need."

"You are right, we do not," the customer said grimly, finishing his worm hole with one last mouthful. "You may have financial problems, but you really do know how to cook."

Veedi finished for the day and left her apron in the kitchen. She exited her restaurant and made her way along the path high above the ground in the Grand Tree. It was getting dark, and the lamps did little to light the area, in fact their only use seemed to be to attract tiny insects. The branches of the tree swayed gently in the night breeze. Shadows darted about without Veedi noticing.

"Oh goodness, I've forgotten to close that jar of worms," Veedi grumbled making her way back.

As Veedi returned to the restaurant she heard a sound from out of the darkness. As she lit an oil lamp and walked closer a plate from a table smashed to the ground.

"For goodness sake! Keep it down," a voice snapped.

Walking ever closer, she felt extreme fear over what was happening. From out of the dark jumped to gnomes dressed in black hats, shirts, trousers and boots grabbed the money jar from out of her hand which she had been carrying home with her.

"Come back!" Veedi exclaimed.

The two gnomes jumped off the path on to the ground far below. Veedi rushed to see where they had gone and saw them getting to their feet on the ground, seemingly without injury. Veedi observed the floor carefully, weary of the kitchen appliances that littered it. What was Veedi to do now? She had just lost her money, and she knew it was of no use reporting the crime because the criminals had made a swift escape and the Grand Tree's council did not want to waste money on replacing her lost money.

Veedi opened up again the next morning, the damage was a lot more visible. Getting a broom from the corner she swept the smashed glasses and plates away and tidied up the kitchen area which had jars and containers scattered all over the worktop, obviously the two gnomes had been looking for money in the cupboards. Some jars and containers were smashed, some were chipped but not one went unscathed. As Veedi exited the kitchen and returned to the dining area another gnome appeared at the door, it was Paula Hidrigg who sold an array of clothes on the level above.

"Oh goodness Veedi, what on Gielinor has happened here?" Paula asked looking at the smashed plates and jars all over the place.

"Last night I was robbed, two gnomes grabbed my money jar off of me after raiding the kitchen," Veedi replied.

"Oh my, the same thing happened to me! I was putting my supply of clothes away for the night when a gnome in black jumped into the area and snatched my money jar off the side!"

"Did you report it? I didn't bother."

"Me neither, what good is the council now? It's nearly stripped of all money and can't fund a single thing. They can't even support gnomegliders anymore, so they're all going to be shut down."

"The gnomegliders are our only real connection with the outside world!"

"You try telling the Grand Tree council, they call it a waste of money."

"Most of my trade relies on gnome delivery as well, I'm finished."

"Don't tell me, you can't get many customers?"

"No."

"Me neither. Even though most of the competition has been shut down due to lack of money, I don't get any more customers, in fact I get less."

"We should go to see the council about this, they need to do something."

"I think you're right there," Paula said as her and Veedi began to walk off towards the trunk of the Grand Tree.

Councillor Kardant sat in his chair on the top level of the Grand Tree. He was smoking a small pipe while reading a number of papers detailing funding problems for various organisations within the Tree Gnome Stronghold. His two guards walked towards the ladder to the lower levels as Veedi and Paula emerged from the floor below.

"Who are you? What is your business?" A guard asked.

"We wish to speak with Councillor Kardant," Veedi insisted.

"Councillor Kardant is not open for public meetings at this moment, book an appointment and come back later-"

"Oh forget it Ralf, let them come and see me," Kardant said.

"As you wish Sir."

The guards stood back and allowed Veedi and Paula to stand before Kardant.

"What is it that brings you here?" Kardant asked.

"We request that you reconsider withdrawing the gnomeglider services, they're the only source of business for me now," Veedi said.

"You're not the only business which is failing you know!"

"Well can't you do anything? Besides, those gnomegliders are the only things that keep us connected with the outside world, especially after gnomecopters shut down five months ago," Paula said.

"Listen you two, I didn't want to make this public in case it doesn't work out, but we may have a solution to all this," Kardant whispered.

"Sir, are you sure you want to tell them?" A guard asked.

"Oh I don't see why not, I suppose these two ladies could do with a bit of good news."

"So what is it?" Veedi asked.

"Well, we've gotten the King to sign a financial deal with the monarchy of Ardougne."

"How?"

"Well in return for us sharing with them our gnomic recipes, they have offered to keep us funded by splitting half of the money they make through it with us."

"But you can't reveal the gnome cooking methods!"

"It's either that or the entire Grand Tree going bankrupt."

"Well then, it looks like you don't have a choice."

"You're right, we don't."

Veedi returned to her restaurant, with Paula following.

"What are you going to do now?" Paula asked.

"Well I'm going to have to get as much money as I can and hope for the best, you never know, if this deal works out there might be more of a demand for gnomic food," Veedi replied.

Veedi sat at a table in her restaurant. The number of staff had decreased extremely, with all the waiters having left because Veedi couldn't afford to pay them. Veedi was waiting for Paula to come back from the council office with the news of the financial deal's result. Veedi drank the pineapple punch in front of her and turned to see Paula walking along the platform towards her.

"What did they say?" Veedi asked.

"There's good news, but also very bad news," Paula replied.

"What do you mean?"

"The deal has been made, but at a cost; they want to take over and shut down all the gnome restaurants in the stronghold and make them the property of the humans."

"They can't!"

"They can, and they have. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"This can't be right, I'm going to speak to Councillor Kardant myself!"

Councillor Kardant looked up from his book on gnomic history to see Veedi who barged past the guards.

"Stop right there m'am!" A guard exclaimed raising his sword at her.

"You wouldn't use that, they're just there for sight," Veedi sneered.

"What do you want now?" Councillor Kardant asked.

"Why the Hell have you sold my restaurant over to Ardougne?"

"It was either that or they wouldn't sign the deal."

"You should've tried to make a deal with another city, like Falador or Varrock!"

"Ardougne is the only one with money, Varrock and Falador are in the same situation as us. Beside, we're separated from both cities by a large wolf-infested mountain."

"But gnome cooking is part of our heritage! Our history! You've gone and torn it away and just ruined one of the only good things gnomekind had!"

Councillor Kardant walked around his desk and walked straight up to Veedi. He grabbed her and marched her up a ladder to the top of the Grand Tree. They stood on a thin wooden platform towering high above the surrounding world, the view was spectacular.

"What do you see?" Kardant asked.

"I don't understand, what does this have to do with your ridiculous decision?"

"Look around, the Tree Gnome Stronghold isn't that highly populated for its size, is it?"

"Well no, I know that."

"Look a bit further, do you see the Tree Gnome Village?"

"Yes, just about. Right in the distance."

"Think about it, there aren't many living here, are there? And the Tree Gnome Village has barely any gnomes left there. Look at the Tree Gnome Village and the Stronghold here, that's our entire kingdom; a near-empty stronghold and a small village in the middle of a maze teeming with wolves, goblins and giants."

"I know we are few in number, this is not news."

"Look at Ardougne, isn't it big? Yet it is still crowded."

"Which is why we're making a deal with them, they have more money."

"That isn't my point! The gnome empire is shrinking more and more every century, soon we'll be gone if we don't do something about it. Look at humanity, their settlements in Kandarin grew quickly around us, swallowing up all the land and resources, and making good use of it. Gnomekind is endangered, and if we don't give up a bit of gnome culture to humanity, then it'll only be lost in the soil as our empire crumbles and collapses slowly but surely. And if we don't give this up, then we'll lose everything relevant to gnomes, all our technology from across the centuries, gone forever."

"I see your point."

"And anyway, do you not serve the occasional human in your restaurant? And if I remember correctly, you have educated a few humans on gnome cooking so they could be your apprentices when the demands became too much for just you and a few waiters."

"You're right, so very, very right. You'd make a good king."

"Thanks, but I'm sure his Majesty wouldn't be too happy if I snatched his title, even if he is dying."

"Dying?"

"Yes, he's succumbed to illness, it has been hidden these past few weeks. I'm the acting leader at the moment."

"Well Councillor Kardant, I'm going to have to leave."

"But why? You could work for the humans when they arrive, surely they will not be as bad as you think."

"I wish to continue my business as active manager, I was born to lead, my father was the manager of his restaurant, and I inherited the business, promised I'd keep him proud."

"Well, as you wish."

Veedi looked back at the gates to the Tree Gnome Stronghold one last time before heading south. The future lay ahead of her, and she would find another town or city to start business in, maybe there was somewhere else which had enough money to keep her in business. With a crate of ingredients on a sled which she pulled along, she made her way towards Yanille, because the wizards there were masters of alchemy, and they would never be short of gold...