The Hoarding Hordes

"Selling a complete set of runium plate armour in the Exchange!"

"I am buying 4 strength potions in the GE!"

"Selling full trimmed, black armour in the Exchange! Low price! Low low low!"

The sounds of the Grand Exchange were all around me; well, the sounds of people here who even had enough money to buy anything, and at that it was only merchants and royalty... but I'm here to tell a story; let's continue. I walked up to the desk and began to speak to one of the clerks. She and I often made small talk, you know, 'How's the weather?' 'I hear that there's a rat problem in the palace' 'Had any good cheese lately?' That sort of thing. Then, a small noise went off...it was emulating from my backpack. "One or more of your Grand Exchange offers has been updated!"

"Hey, Chinelle, can you open up my collection box for me?"

"Sure. Just type in your pin," she seemed depressed that we couldn't talk anymore. I looked at the small screen in front of me. It seemed a little discoloured.

"Hey, those platelegs of dragonium metal I put up for sale aren't magenta, they're blood red..." I said to Chinelle.

"Oh, yeah," she replied, coming out of a daze, "with the whole economy thing, um, yeah, Bursen's been cutting down on the amount of runes used for the screens 'nd stuff. He's, like, not sure what's happening, but he thinks there's an anomaly in the energy stones used to store people's info."

"Ah, that's not good. I'm starting too feel the pinch too; even though I'm retired, my pension's been practically deleted! I don't know hy this is happening."

"Probably the Grand Exchange problem thing. Pensions are stored on the energy stones, too."

"But what I don't understand is that if everything is going up, why are pensions and incomes going down?" I thought for a second, and then said, "Who's in control of the Grand Exchange?"

"Bursen," Chinelle replied.

"Who's in charge of him?"

"The King."

"Hmmm..." I looked down at the screen, "Hey, my blue paper crown sold...for ten thousand???" I selected the button to collect my profits and I felt my bag get heavier as the little gold cylinders popped in. "Listen, Chinelle, I've got to go."

"Kay," she said, "come back soon!"

When I arrived home...well, let's not start with that. I didn't arrive at home. I arrived at a repossessed cottage on a repossessed street in a practically entirely repossessed town. All my items were being lugged away by guards...but they didn't look like the regular Varrock Guards... hmm. I ran up and started yelling at the guys. "Hey! Get outta my property! You better get off or I swear I oughtta."

"Yeah, yeah old man. Keep quiet. We didn't cross White Wolf Mountain fer nothin'." I was about to tell him off; I'm only 41! Then I thought a bit...

"White Wolf Mountain? You must be from Kandarin!"

"East Ardougne at that. We're the king's royal guard! One hundred percent Paladin muscle!" This guy was starting to freak me out. I was going to find out what is happening, and I was going to find out now! I marched up to the Palace, determined to find King Roald.

I stormed into the Palace, ignoring both of the troublesome guards. Like they actually do do their job... I went down the hallway and rapped on the door in the library. King Roald would be in there...he loves reading Reldo's legends. No answer. I rapped again. "Reldo! Reldo-ho!" Still no answer. I opened the door. No, no. No. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have opened that door. But, I did. And that's when... things got unsavory. "Guh-!" I gasped. Gold...gold everywhere! Gold gold gold! It was a sea of pure little gold pellets! I reached in and grabbed handfuls and stuffed them in my pockets! I was giddy with greed! Gold then started falling...everywhere, pouring into the halls. All around. But, this is when it really got bad. There was a pile of dead bodies...in grey and lavender uniforms...they were bankmen! I ran up, turning over body after body, until I came to the bottom. There it was, pale skinned, with a huge slash in its neck, dripping with poison. I recognised the face instantly. Chinelle Marrietta MacCombe; that GE clerk I was conversing with a couple of minutes ago. My secret love... I didn't cry. I was a retired adventurer, I was brave. Goodness, there was a coin on her chest! I picked it up, as if it was the last bit of Chinelle I would ever encounter. I noticed that I wasn't a Misthalinian coin...It was... Kandarian. I turned it over. It read Minted in Ardougne: 185. It was new. I took it as a beacon. Whoever killed Chinelle, and was embezzling all this cash, was in Ardougne. I set off, not looking back.

I immediately set off from Varrock, in the direction of Kandarin. Wearing nothing but some light leather armour, I marched alongside the Wilderness Ditch for hours on end. Was Misthalin this large? Hmm... yawn... I was getting tired. I found a very nice soft patch of grass just north of Edgeville and sat down to take... yawn... a nap.

I woke up... but not in that soft meadow north of Edgeville. I woke up in the Grand Exchange. Chinelle was there, still alive. I heard my voice from down the lane, only a couple of hours ago. You better get off of my property, you Kandarian bums! I was bewildered. I usually see into the future, not the past. What if...my powers were trying to help me? My position as a seer in of all places of Varrock was already an awkward one. I heard a rush of something pouring in to the Exchange. However, it wasn't liquid. It was human. Paladins, swords brimming with tackish, chartreuse poison. I tried to scream to Chinelle Get out of the way! Nothing came out. Silence. The Paladins advanced towards the desks. Oddly, I heard no screaming. The Exchange Officers must thought they're only regular customers. As fast as I could I ran up to Chinelle, trying to shake her out of this naïve sense of security. To my surprise, and ultimate chagrin, my hands passed right through her! A Paladin with vermilion hair advanced, with his rapier, coated in sickly, greenish fluid. He was the killer. I knew it instantly. He lifted Chinelle up by the neck and threw her into the central column. Her impact made a huge hole in the side. A furious outflow of energy stones instantly followed suit. They were all labeled with different names. I watched the one marked "Frumac, Dancus James" roll down the pile and shatter on the stucco floor. The Paladin dug Chinelle out of the glowing pile of rocks and pinned her against what was left of the central column. Why didn't I hear a scream? Chinelle must've been unconscious. The Paladin swung his sword into her neck, severing the jugular vein, instantly killing Chinelle. Her blood exploded out, and, awkwardly, went right through me. A ghost, capable of doing nothing, like in most of my sights. He carried Chinelle's cadaver off towards the palace. I followed, at a quick pace. Inside the Library, millions upon thousands of coins worth in gold lay. I watched as the bodies of clerks from all the banks in Misthalin were thrown in, sinking to the back. I heard myself stomping down the hall just a few hours ago. I heard my own thoughts, read my previous mind. King Roald would be in here... he loves reading Reldo's legends. All the Paladins scattered in to rooms in the opposite hallway that my previous self was located in. My previous self opened the door, and triggered that gold avalanche I had spoken about. Walking solemnly to the back, myself walked to the back of the room, finding Chinelle's body and that Ardougnese coin. Myself set off towards, well, where I was going, but, unknowingly, Chinelle's killer followed. Suddenly not looking back was a bad decision. He followed me as myself walked along the ditch, hiding behind every available tree and so forth. Myself set down to sleep, and that's when I woke up.

I woke up to a beautiful morning. The birds were chirping, the flowers were as beautiful as ever, and bees buzzed all around. An adventurer ran, being chased by a swarm of some sort. "AHHHHH!" he screamed. I chuckled, and then remembered that Paladin. If he was following me, what did he want? I suddenly realised that my pack and all of my items were stripped of me. Well, he got what he wanted. I found some nuts to eat. I set off towards Kandarin again. Ice Mountain loomed ahead. A sign read Welcome to Asgarnia, richest kingdom in existence! I didn't know about that. I was losing time, the Paladin could be anywhere in Asgarnia, or Gielinor for that matter. Running along the path south of Ice Mountain, I quickly came to the large wall the stretched from Burthorpe to Taverley. I never really knew what I was for. Some say it was built during the God Wars to keep the Zamorakians and Bandosians out of Armadyl's and Saradomin's part of Gielinor. All in all, it was a mystery. I advanced through the gate and into Taverley. The sounds emulating from Pikkupstix's shop flooded around the town. Some say he has a problem with a wolpertinger infestation. He is looking for a adventurer available for employ. I came to White Wolf Mountain, and tried to proceed through the dwarves' tunnel. No luck. The economic crisis must have forced them to shut down. A little pile of small skeletons, about half my height, lay next to the tunnel house. Probably just another pile of white wolf victims. I took the shortcut into the wolf-eaten town of Catherby. With plummeting fish prices, coupled with a wolf overpopulation the little town had to be deserted. I guessed all the ports and Hemenster must be the same. Quickly exiting Catherby's ruins, I came into Seers' Village, where the talk of crafters buzzed all around my head, all on the same subject: Plummeting flax prices. I continued down the main road, and my theory was proven when I came to the deserted town of Hemenster. The only activity was tucked away in the Range Guild, but even then the village was abnormally quiet. Ignoring the lack of activity, I had East Ardougne in my sights, and ran down the path towards the city.

Welcome to Ardougne: Best Place to live in RuneScape for 9 years in a row! said a tackish sign just out the city gate of East Ardougne. I would find Chinelle's killer if it's the last thing I'd ever do...I'd just need a little help.