The House of Doom!

Synopsis
The GDG uncover an anomaly leading to a mysterious house built by an insane man with a construction cape. AS things get nasty down in the dungeon for Cratus and Kairie is on the brink of being zapped straight into Canifis, things look very bad in The House of Doom! as the owner calls it.

Plot
"Hello there boys and girls!" An eccentric looking man in a pirate's hat calls.

"What is it old man?" A boy asks.

"Dare you enter the mystical portal to the House of Doom?"

"Hmm, sounds interesting!"

The boy enters an anomaly and screams...

"Well that sure was fun!" The man says as he shakes his wooden sword about like an idiot.

Title Sequence:

GDG Base:

"Who is he?" Drauss asks as he, Cratus, Kairie and a group of Lumbridge officials and guards sit in a large boardroom in the GDG Base.

"Well, according to our notes and statements and any other information available...we don't know," Cratus answers.

"We don't know?"

"This man has walked into broad daylight and stolen children, but nobody knows who he is, we've searched across Misthalin, Asgarnia, Kandarin, even the remote kingdoms like the Kharidian Desert and Wilderness!" exclaims Kairie.

"This man is obviously a show-off, I mean, who walks straight into surveillance when kidnapping?" Drauss asks.

"An idiot? Or a madman?"

"Or someone smarter than we think. Besides, the quality of those images were pathetic, even a child drawing stick-men could produce a more accurate result."

"If you don't mind me saying, can we get a move on? I've got worried parents at my door every night threatening to make me disappear unless I get these children back!" exclaims Duke Horacio.

"We'll do all we can, but this is going to be awkward," Drauss replies.

House of Doom:

The house is two storeys high with fancy stone covering it from top to bottom. The purple portal sits in front of it and inside there are opulent rugs, marble fireplaces and even a demonic throne.

"Come on! Come on! We haven't got any time to lose!" exclaims the madman.

"Sir, is there anything I can get you?" asks the Demon Butler.

"No, no, no, there are more important things at hand!"

The man looks into a steel cage containing the three children he had kidnapped.

"Let us out! My brother will air strike your back-side if he finds out what you've done!" screams a young boy.

"Well I'll turn his bones to bananas if he comes near me, then I'll put them in my larder and have them for a snack!" replies the man.

"What does that lever do?" asks a girl.

"Questions, questions, questions! I don't want to spoil the surprise! But let's say, it's awfully sharp down there, so watch your feet!"

And then he pulls the lever, and a trapdoor springs open...

Lumbridge:

Drauss, Cratus and Kairie stand by the general store accompanied by Lumbridge Guards. The shopkeeper steps outside and empties some damaged pots and tinderboxes on the floor.

"Littering!" snaps a guard.

"We've more important things to deal with," Drauss snaps to the Guard as he scans the surroundings for anomalies.

"What sort of unusual activity?" asks the shopkeeper.

"Nevermind, you wouldn't know."

"Are you that GDG lot? Saving our back-sides for the past few years from creatures beyond this realm?"

"That's the one."

"There's a farmer down the road who knows about you-"

"And we have the misfortune of knowing the senile old twit ourselves!"

"Well what is the problem anyway? I'm sure there's something that I can help with, I do run the general store you know - hub of the town."

"He's got a point Drauss, besides, the disappearances did occur in this part of town. The images were awfully obscured before, maybe these will be an improvement!" Kairie suggests.

"Fine, fine, do you know anything about missing children, Mr. Shopkeeper?" Drauss asks sarcastically.

"If you want my help you can change that attitude for a start, because for a matter of fact I do know about the missing children and have footage of the kidnaps! It's all captured on my scrying orb - I use them to keep the customers on their toes, not even the local branch of the Freneskae's Angels," the shopkeeper replies.

"Can you show us it?" Drauss asks.

The scrying orb's image is hazy to begin with, but then it focuses in to show a clearer image of the kidnapper - the man we have already seen waving around his sword again like a pirate.

"I don't take well to idiots, and I don't take well to pirates, so naturally, I especially don't take well to idiot pirates!" Drauss snaps.

"Why don't we lay a trap for this man? He's clearly harmless, except to these poor children," Kairie replies.

"That teleport is a House Teleport, I recognise the residue left behind. He's obviously operating from the realm of his own home, no wonder nobody recognised him!"

Characters

 * Drauss
 * Cratus