The Hoarding Hordes

"Selling full rune in GE!"

"Buy 4 str pots in GE!"

"Selling blk(t) full in GX! Lo price!"

The sounds of the Grand Exchange were all around me. I walked up to the desk and began to speak to one of the clerks. She and I often made small talk, you know, 'How's the weather?' 'I hear that there's a rat problem in the palace' 'Had any good cheese lately?' That sort of thing. Then, a small noise went off...it was emulating from my backpack. "One or more of your Grand Exchange offers has been updated!"

"Hey, Chinelle, can you open up my collection box for me?"

"Sure. Just type in your pin," she seemed depressed that we couldn't talk anymore. I looked at the small screen in front of me. It seemed a little discoloured.

"Hey, the dragon platelegs I pt up forsale aren't magenta, they're blood red..." I sad to Chinelle.

"Oh, yeah," she replied, coming out of a daze, "with the whole economy thing, um, yeah, Bursen's been cutting down on the amount of runes used for the screens 'nd stuff. He's, like, not sure what's happening, but he thinks there's an anomaly in the energy stones used to store people's info."

"Ah, that's not good. I'm starting too feel the pinch too; even though I'm retired, my pension's been practically deleted! I don't know hy this is happening."

"Probably the Grand Exchange problem thing. Pensions are stored on the energy stones, too."

"But what I don't understand is that if everything is going up, why are pensions and incomes going down?" I thought for a second, and then said, "Who's in control of the Grand Exchange?"

"Bursen," Chinelle replied.

"Who's in charge of him?"

"The King."

"Hmmm..." I looked down at the screen, "Hey, my party hat sold...for ten thousand???" I selected the button to collect my profits and I felt my bag get heavier as the little gold cylinders popped in. "Listen, Chinelle, I've got to go."

"Kay," she said, "come back soon!"

When I arrived home...well, let's not start with that. I didn't arrive at home. I arrived at a repossessed cottage on a repossessed street in a practically entirely repossessed town. All my items were being lugged away by guards...but they didn't look like the regular Varrock Guards...hmm. I ran up and started yelling at the guys. "Hey! Get outta my property! You better get off or I swear I oughtta."

"Yeah, yeah old man. Keep quiet. We didn't cross White Wolf Mountain fer nothin'." I was about to tell him off; I'm only 51! Then I thought a bit...

"White Wolf Mountain? You must be from Kandarin!"

"East Ardougne at that. We're the king's royal guard! One hundred percent Paladin muscle!" This guy was starting to freak me out. I was going to find out what is happening, and I was going to find out now! I marched up to the Palace, determined to find King Roald.

I stormed into the Palace, ignoring both of the troublesome guards. Like they actually do do their job... I went down the hallway and rapped on the door in the library. King Roald would be in there...he loves reading Reldo's legends. No answer. I rapped again. "Reldo! Reldo-ho!" Still no answer. I opened the door. No, no. No. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have opened that door. But, I did. And that's when...things got unsavory. "Guh-!" I gasped. Gold...gold everywhere! Gold gold gold! It was a sea of pure little gold pellets! I reached in and grabbed handfuls and stuffed them in my pockets! I was giddy with greed! Gold then started falling...everywhere, pouring into the halls. All around. But, this is when it really got bad. There was a pile of dead bodies...in greay and lavender uniforms...they were bankmen! I ran up, turning over body after body, until I came to the bottom. There it was, pale skinned, with a huge slash in its neck, dripping with poison. I recognised the face instantly. Chinelle Marrietta MacCombe; that GE clerk I was conversing with a couple of minutes ago. My secret love...I didn't cry. I was a retired adventurer, I was brave. Goodness, there was a coin on her chest! I picked it up, as if it was the last bit of Chinelle I would ever encounter. I noticed that I wasn't a Misthalinian coin...It was...Kandarinian. I turned it over. It read Minted in Ardougne: 185. It was new. I took it as a beacon. Whoever killed Chinelle, and was embezzling all this cash, was in Ardougne. I set off, not looking back.

Welcome to Ardougne: Best Place to live in RuneScape for 9 years in a row! said a gay sign just out the city gate of East Ardougne. I would find Chinelle's killer if it's the last thing I'd ever do...I'd just need a little help.