3 Question Interview With Saradomin

3 Question Interview with Saradomin

Interviewer: Hello, today on our show, we’ll interview a man so special, that his name brings instant gasps. His name is… Saradomin!

Audience: (Gasps)

Saradomin: Howdy-Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas?

Member of the audience: But it’s the middle of July!

Interviewer: Well, why can’t we celebrate Christmas in July.

Member: Because it’s not in July.

Interviewer: Okay. Now shut up and let me do this interview Mkay? (Clears throat) Okay Saradomin, we’ll ask you a few questions. First of all what are you favorite colors.

Sara: What are colors?

Interviewer: Oh, don’t tell me you don’t know what colors are. They are the reflection of light on an object. They’re what you see when you open your eyes.

Saradomin: Oh… I like shoes.

Interviewer: Shoe… is that some kind of special new color

Sara: Well, I see them when I open my eyes, and they are lighter then other objects. I’m wearing shoes (Pulls up robe). And you are too. (Point’s at interviewer’s feet) You have pretty shoes.

Interviewer: Thank you… Next question, what is it like being with Zammy and Guthix

Sara: Zammy’s a noob. He’s all wicked and stuff. He also has a really big nose and pointy ears. He’s all evil, and he needs to know that you have to be good, which is why I’m there. I’m trying to make him a good guy. But Guthix says “NO WAY!” He says that he’ll destroy the world if something like happens. SO I’m all like, screw that, I’m going to make Saradomin a good guy, and he’s all like, you’re too stupid, and I’m like prove it, and he’s like what’s two plus two, and I’m like what’s a plus, and he’s all like, I just proved it, and then I go try to convert Zammy.

Interviewer: But, do you think that Guthix is serious… about destroying the world?

Sara: Oh, heck yes. He’ll turn this world inside out and boil the surface until it is a blank plane

Interviewer: So, could you, um, try not to make Zammy good, because if you succeed, we’ll all like, die…

Sara: He, I’m the good guy here, and good guys do sacrifices for the better.

Interviewer: B-bu-but-

Sara: No butts. Sara knows what he’s doing.

Interviewer: Um, okay, next question- hey what are you doing with that pigeon?

Sara: (Holding and petting pigeon) Hahahahaha! You’re a cute pigeon (Starts petting it more)

Pigeon: CHEEP, CHEEP<, CHEEP! (Worms its way out of Sara’s hand and starts pecking Sara’s eyes)

Sara: DIE PIGEON! (Grabs Pigeon and smashes it’s head against the floor) Oh, no, I killed the poor little pigeon. WHAT HAVE I DONE!?! (Cries)

Interviewer: Do you want to continue this interview

Sara: Poor pigeon… He had so much to live for… (Cries) I’ll make a little pigeon funeral for you and invite all your pigeon friends and we’ll sing Christmas carols and drink beer.

Interviewer: AHEM!

Sara: Who are you?

Interviewer: I was interviewing you for the past five minutes.

Sara: I recall no such thing happening.

Interviewer: NEXT QUESTIOM! What is your favorite accomplishment?

Sara: I learned to tie my shoes. See, I couldn’t tie my shoes because it was too hard, and it hurt my brain, so I couldn’t wear shoes, so then I stepped on rough stuff and it hurt my feet, and I started to cry, but them Guthix showed me how to tie my shoes and I like shoes now.

Interviewer: Really? I would say that a great accomplishment would be that you have the most followers, myself included.

Sara: Duh, that too.

Interviewer: Well, That’s all the time we have. Thank you for watching my show. You may all leave.