Chinese Whiskers

Getting help
Talk to Sigmund. He will tell you what has happened, or if you give him 20 gold coins, show you in a cinematic. You will see Duke Horacio being attacked by a number of cats that teleport in from nowhere, and then disappear, taking the Duke with him. Ask Sigmund what to do, and he will tell you to go to the Small Hut just off the southern shore of the Lumbridge peninsula.

When you get there, you will notice that the hut "just off" the coast is actually two dozen tiles off. You have to make a "leap of faith," by clicking on the hut. When you do, your character will take a running jump, but only cross about six squares. They will wave their arms, but then will hit a secret springboard, which will send you flying onto the small rock on which the hut is built.

When you go inside, you will be greeted by an old man, who signals for you to go down a ladder. When you do, you will find yourself in an expansive cellar. A woman will walk up to you and start talking about the fact the Duke was kidnapped. After a while, she will bring up Evil Bob. When you ask her about him, she will start getting all hush-hush, and give you a fishing rod and some fishing bait. She then tells you to go back upstairs and fish.

When your character says "I think that’s enough!" and go downstairs, a boy will tell you to follow him to "the pit." Inside, there is a suit of Animated Steel Armour. He says you have to destroy it. Kill the armour. It will drop lots of steel and iron bars. Pick them up and drop them where the boy tells you to. Only then will you find out what is going on.

The woman from earlier on will then tell you fully about Evil Bob, and that they possess the only portal to his realm of ScapeRune. Kit up, and follow her to a large, colourful window. She tells you that that is the portal, and you need to go through it. Oblige and step into the portal.

ScapeRune
After a few seconds, you will emerge into what appears to be the same cellar. However, close inspection reveals that it is very different. Immediately, you are picked on by a group of level 9 Angry Cats. You don’t kill them, but knock them out. When you have defeated all of the cats, go back up the ladder. Instead of another leap of faith, there is a bridge. After you walk across, you start to notice the differences; instead of a boggy swamp south of Lumbridge, there are well-tended wheat fields. However, they are tended by very ragged-looking slaves. If you try to talk to one, you will immediately be attacked by level 15 Guard Cats. Remember that although they are weak, they appear in much larger numbers.

When you defeat the cats, follow the road to Lumbridge. Instead of proud, gleaming bricks, the walls are covered with moss and weeds. Lines of slaves are walking everywhere. You decide that the only way to find out more is to act like one. Cross the river. Instead of the goblin hut there is a large, barrack-like building. Walk inside. A number of slaves will look at you. Speak with one of them, and ask for a disguise. They will answer that they have a spare set, but they will only let you keep them if you give them weapons. Take the slave robes, don them, and then walk outside.

Walk across the bridge, where Bob’s Axes normally stands. It is actually an armoury for the cats’ goblin allies. A guard cat will ask you why you are there. Reply that you are there to collect weapons for an experiment. The cat will agree, if you supply him with a certain amount of fish. If you give him four or more fish, he will let you in. If you give less, you will be thrown back in the slave barracks. The slaves will give you some more fish.

When inside, search the crates until you find a crate of daggers and spears. Pick up the crate, and walk outside. If you have low strength, you will walk slowly with the crate, but with higher levels you will move faster. Take the crate back to the barracks. The slaves will thank you, and speak of a secret resistance movement that is set to rescue them that night. The screen will then say "Several boring hours later..."

The Escape
The brightness will automatically have become darker, and your character will have re-donned their armour. Suddenly, the door will be knocked down by a group of warriors. The slaves run after them, telling you to follow. However, when you are halfway to Varrock, you will be confronted by a number of level 25 Goblin Warriors and level 29 Warrior Cats. Your fellow warriors will begin to attack, telling you to help.

After defeating the enemies, the group will continue moving towards Varrock. Eventually, you will pass through the southern entrance – or what is left of it. Keep running until you reach Varrock Palace. The slaves and warriors will go in, and you follow them. They will enter a secret tunnel, which passes up into the Wilderness.

When you emerge, you find yourself in a large building. The warriors say that this is their ‘secret fortress,’ and tell you to go upstairs. On the top floor, you find a group of humans and goblins around a table with a map of Gielinor. Immediately a cutscene begins, with the humans and goblins talking about strategies to defeat Evil Bob. After a few moments, they will turn to you and tell you their plan.

The attack
The plan is as follows: you will join a group of warriors on an attack mission at Evil Bob’s palace. They then give you armour and weapons, and send you downstairs to a group of waiting warriors. In your new camouflage armour you need to follow the raiding party as they trek down through the Wilderness, passing patrols of cats and mining sites.

When you reach the Wilderness Ditch, you will automatically be teleported to a mountain, although in the campaign’s story you have walked there (and a short cut scene illustrates this). When you are at the mountain, right-click on the cliff and select "Kneel." The rest of the group will follow you, handing around a set of binoculars. When it is your turn, you can use the arrow keys to freely look around. In the distance is a monstrous palace, with statues of cats and feline guards. After passing over the binoculars, it is revealed that that is Bob’s palace.

Your group walks down the mountain and creeps over the ground to the main door. When you get there, some of the attack force members will attack the guard cats, but leaving them alive and forcing them to open up the portcullis for you. When you do, sneak in with the rest of your group and follow them through a number of doors and passages, until you accidentally encounter a cat patrol.

Fight the cats (they are level 32 Warrior cats) until all 20 have been knocked out. Then, collect every cat and open the "Store cupboard." Go inside and drop all the cats, then walk outside and close the door. One of the attackers will say he saw a cat escaping, and then the group follows its path. When you reach the cat, however, it will be at a lever and pulling it. An alarm will start.

One of the attackers will tell you to run. Follow the group (you have little choice – the route they take is the only available one) until you enter a large circular hall. They group will rest for a moment, until the doors are knocked down by an army of level 56 Elite cats. The group will attack, with some success, but ultimately be killed. One of the last remaining soldiers, before being killed, will tell you to run towards an indicated door.

Run through the door and through the multiple corridors and rooms nearby. Although there is the appearance of countless routes, most of them are dead ends, and all the routes lead to a finite location: Evil Bob’s throne room. Inside, there are several different types of NPCs: slave humans, warrior cats, Elite cats, level 91 Royal Guard cats, and the level 176 Evil Bob. You will have a short cinematic as he taunts you and the cats who had been pursuing break down the door, before he challenges you to a duel – barehanded.

Evil Bob is powerful and strikes quite a few 10s and 11s, whilst your strikes are much weaker depending on your strength level. However, there are several devices which you can use to outsmart Bob: around the room there are several levers and switches, which allow you to activate certain devices or topple items like columns. Use these to injure Bob when your timing is right. When all his hit points have been drained (unlike most others his hit points do not heal) you will get a short cinematic when he orders his guards to kill you.

Run out any door. Now, the entire palace is open to you – the palace covering the area of Falador and everything down the peninsula south of it. All the doors to get outside are locked, so you have to get out another way – on a boat. Using your compass to orientate you, run southwards, avoiding any cats, until you reach the Dock. Here are several boats, and a prison. Inside the prison is Duke Horacio. He will tell you there is a sword nearby that you can use to threaten the cat guard into releasing him. Search the nearby rooms until you find a Rusty Steel Scimitar. Find the cat guard, and order him to release Horacio. The cat will do so. Horacio will then follow you.

Get onto any boat and untie the knot connecting it to the bay. The ship will sail away with you and Horacio. A cutscene will show you eventually reaching the secret island, getting off, and stepping through the portal. It’s not over yet. After you arrive, a number of cats will start to come through. You will be given weapons and armour to fight them off. There are three waves of 24 level 35 Warrior cats, two waves of 12 level 56 Elite cats, and one wave of 8 level 91 Royal Guard cats. After defeating them all, give your armour back (it automatically disappears when you leave the island anyway) and speak to the woman from early in the quest. She will congratulate you, and tell you to return to Lumbridge with Horacio. Teleport, and go with Horacio to his room. He will thank you and reward you.

Quest complete!

Rewards

 * 3,500 gp
 * Fluent catspeak amulet (lets you have more conversations with your cat)
 * 3 quest points