The Socialist Stratagem

TzHaar City

It was always hot in the TzHaar city, due to the TzHaar requiring the heat to survive. They kept many secrets, including giant beasts that roam the lava caves. But not as terrible as the Ark of Eternal Damnation.

Yet the adventurer known as Novalete as found the secret.

"TzHaar! I know you keep it here!"

"JalYt, it is not your place to know."

The TzHaar-Ket threw the man outside the city, as Novalete started cursing them.

"The JalYt knows too much! I recommend termination!"

"That advice is accepted. It shows military wisdom."

The mysterious, hooded stranger hid in the shadows of the city, as the TzHaar-Ket goes outside the city, and pushes Novalete into lava.

Varrock

Tony was walking along a path from the Grand Exchange, when an old friend greeted him. Farrell.

"I see you found the relic. Gratz, Tony."

"You've got something else, haven't you?"

"Ah, yes. I managed to smuggle some prints from the Varrock Museum. They're not happy, but I'm not in trouble...yet."

Tony grabbed the blue prints, and read thoroughly.

"The Ark of Eternal Damnation. Buried deep within the TzHaar foundations. Whoever releases this gains immortality, at a price. Immortality is a curse. If fallen into the wrong hands, could feed the greed of evil"

"Tony, you must get this. Don't give in to the immortality gimmick, just sell it to the museum! I heard the King has to raise taxes for Varrock to stop trading downfall!"

"Thats a bull excuse. But I will get the ark, for old time's sake."

"Remember, you should share the money with moi."

"Why? You don't have a house."

"I know. Trust me."

Farrell nodded, and walked off. Tony also walked in the opposite direction.

TzHaar City

"Man, its getting hot in here!" Tony exclaimed, as he entered. There were few humans around, but TzHaar were everywhere. It was their city, after all.

Tony approached a TzHaar-Ket.

"Hey, I'm Tony de Fillo. I messaged you in advance."

"Oh yes, JalYt. We have been expecting you."

"I know, 'cuz I messaged you ahead."

"That's why we were expecting you. Come through this cave, the leader is awaiting."

Tony was chauffered to an alcove, full of more TzHaar-Ket and a smaller one.

"I am TzHaar-Kot-Tok. Welcome to the city JalYt. I am the ambassador. The leader is busy, sorting out financial difficulties. You are looking for the ark. Normally, we wouldn't let humans near it, but we have been told otherwise by them".

"Sure, but who are them?"

"Do not worry JalYt. Just do what you were sent to."

The TzHaar lead him to a large chest, in the middle of a TzHaar temple, heavily guarded. Tony touched it, and read the inscriptions.

"Tony de Fillo, beware Ardougne and the General..." Tony said aloud.

TzHaar-Kot-Tok muttered something to his confederates, and then spoke to Tony.

"The ark is magic, it seems to be predicting your future. Do not fear JalYt, open it."

Tony grabbed a crowbar, and tried to pry it open. Then a guard came and smashed the lock off. Tony opened it, and looked inside.

He saw a whirling vortex, and some papers flew out. The ark then sealed itself automatically.

"These are the blueprints for a very deadly weapon. People of the far future may have them. We are making the prototype."

"This weapon looks deadly. But how?"

"The ark can pick things up here and there. This weapon, we call it a gun. Named after TzHaar-Xil-Gun."

Tony looked at the prints again, and saw the most primitive pistol you can get.

"You can't let this weapon go outside the city! If it falls into the wrong hands, there will be killing sprees!" Tony said.

"We won't give it away."

"You'd better change your mind about that."

Everyone looked back, and saw a human in uniform. He was holding the prototype weapon.

"The Nasties!" Tony cried out.

"No, the Socialists!" he called back.

"What do you want!"

"We have been manipulating you from behind the scenes. Our double agents told Farrell and Darako about the ark. Our army has forced the TzHaar to make the prototype, and make you open the ark. Call me the General."

"General what?"

"Just the General. Its all for suspense and mystery."

"Okay, but might I ask, why do you want that crappy thing?"

"It's a super-weapon, it can kill in a hit-"

"So can my abby whip-"

"SILENCE YOU FOOL! Anyway, once fired it can fire over and over again until I reload it."

"You used us!" TzHaar-Kot-Tok shouted in anger.

"Well duh! And if you attack me, I will blow your heads off and my army shall descend! The stratagem shall continue!"

More armoured guards appeared. Two were carrying the Socialist banner; a burning skull.

"Tony de Fillo, we cannot take them on! We need your help JalYt!" Kot-Tok begged.

"Some fancy music would help!"

"But of course"

Some TzHaar had drums, and it they started to play. Tony saluted them, and grabbed his whip.

The whip latched onto the ceiling, and Tony was lifted upwards. He started to run on the walls, holding onto the whip. The soldiers fired arrows at him, but he dodged every one. Swords and axes were even thrown. But the General loaded his weapon, and fired. The whip snapped.

Tony fell, but he didn't give up. He started to run from them, and headed towards the exit. The General saw a button on the wall, and pressed it. The exit was closing!

Tony slid through just in time, but quickly grabbed his hat. He stopped running at the lake of lava, and the Socialists surrounded him. The General pointed the gun at him.

"Join us, and together we can rule the world!"

"I will think about it. Thought about it, and I thought no!"

"Meh, well. Your loss."

The trigger was cocked, when he suddenly let go of the gun, and it fell into lava. It dissolved, and the General screamed.

TzHaar-Kot-Tok was there, he had hit the General in the back. The Socialists retaliated, but they were suddenly driven away by a horde of lesser demons.

"I will get you de Fillo!" the General shouted, before disappearing into the volcano.

"I owe you one, Kot-Tok."

"No, its vice-versa. You saved my people, so now I am in your debt."

"Okay... what do you have to do?"

"Where are you going?"

"Ardougne. Destiny calls."

"I shall accompany you on your journey. Besides, you need a companion or bodyguard."

Tony smiled, and they climbed out of the volcano. They walked to the Brimhaven port.

"Two tickets to Ardougne, pronto!"

"I am sorry, you have not been admitted in."

"What the hell? I have the money!"

"That is irrelevant. Only those who are chosen are admitted into Ardougne, by the king and his council. We shall take you to Witchaven instead."

They both climbed aboard a ship, and it set sail.

"Isn't Witchaven the one with the evil sea slugs?" Kot-Tok asked.

"That's just urban legend... molluscs can't be evil and trying to dominate the planet, and possessing people. That's just crazy talk."