Plague of Noobs: by Haru Samazanba Axeman

PART 2:

Plague of N00bs:

Nobody knows why it happened. The casualties were far-reaching, and many towns were demolished. But, what was it? Why did it happen? Nobody knows, or cares to find out. But it is rumored that a small group does know the answer...

1 year ago...

Haru Axeman, chronologically a 13-year old with a Rune Axe, who had white hair, was 6 foot 6, with big muscles, piercing red eyes, and tanned skin was walking through Varrock. He had just gotten back from a long journey, and was eager to settle down in his home city for the night. Go training in the sewers, go slumming, enjoy a cold beer or some of the Karamjan Rum he had helped to steal... ah. It was the good life, albeit he had a very strange one, one that seemed to last more than a decade and a half. But that was past him now. He would be leaving on another journey in 4 more years.

He was about to go through the gates of Varrock palace, to the small, yet cozy apartment he had earned by helping the king, when suddenly...

“Money Pl0x Im P00r”

Well, now he remembered why he liked his journey so much. He groaned. “Git offa my back, Noob,” he muttered in a casual cowboy drawl. Haru, you see, tended to treat N00bs with a mixture of insensitivity and generosity. This just wasn't his generous mood.

“No!”

“Why? You have enough money!”

“Just because I am higher level than you and have level 35 runecrafting and level 52 strength doesn't mean I am richer. Heck, I am probably the poorest level 59 in all of RS!”

“At least let me trim your-”

This was one of Haru's “insensitive days”. He then, using one of the many martial arts he had picked up on his travels, crouched down in one fluid movement, and kicked the noob right under the chin. “GO TO LUMBRIDGE AND ACTUALLY EARN SOME MONEY, B****!” he yelled.

A pair of level 130s high-fived him. “Good job, brother,” one, a blue-haired girl, wearing a crystal shield, granite platebody, dragon platelegs, fremmenik warriors helm, and dragon halberd, grinned. “you're my amigo now.”

Well, that was definitely a plus. Haru stretched and grinned one of his luminous smiles. “it's a deal.”

“Can you help me with something?”

“Sure, what task do a pair of mighty level 130s have to bother a humble level 59 like me with?”

“It's for a friend. He went into the deep wild and never came out. Shortly after this, even though I hate to bring this up, N00bs began to seem more n00by.”

“K, I'll help you. But don't think of Pking me. I'm wearing 6 rings of life, so I'd have to die 6 times before you could kill me. I'm loaded with escape routes, Teleportation objects included.”

“You may be a level 59, but you've got as much moxie as I do. That's a lot, do you know that?”

“I could guess.”

And so, the unusual duo walked off to the wilderness, only to find...

A barricade. “HALT!” barked one of the guards. “Haven't you heard the rumors and the new law that was passed?”

“As a matter of fact, I haven't!” the girl replied.

“You're Kyurin, right? Well, I would think I should tell you! All travel into the wilderness, except to PvP games, is strictly prohibited!”

“Why?”

“Well, people have been disappearing. And they aren't getting reincarnated in respawn places. Nobody knows what in Guthix's name has been going on!”

“Strange. Very strange. But don't you want to know what happened?” Kyurin pressed.

“You're sure?” the guard asked.

“Completely. I am a doctor, for pete's sake. I am a detective. My detecting skills saved Lumbridge, along with a new species of goblin. I have solved the mystery of the River Salve. I defeated the Culinaromancer! So what makes you think I cannot solve this?”

“Uh...” the guard was taken aback by such a record. “Awright, you can go. Just promise me you won't die!”