Danger of the Dorgeshuun

Synopsis
Ardougne is sitting peacefully, until a fracture in time releases killer Cave goblins, from the era of the Dorgeshuun Civil War! Giant frogs rampage through the streets.

The GDG must constitute peace between the two Dorgeshuun factions, or else there will be trouble.

Plot
East Ardougne, night

Halgrive used to be the councillor of East Ardougne, before the election. Now he sweeps the streets for a living. But an anomaly glittered past him.

"Bloody electricity! Them stupid cave goblins can't make decent lamps! These light bulbs of theirs shall never revolutionize Runescape!" Halgrive muttered.

But large shapes hopped out of the anomaly, and small humanoids appeared. Cave goblins.

"Oi, I just cleaned that bit!" he shouted at them.

The cave goblins were covered in armour, but had a strange weapon. They carried light bulbs.

"The bulbs will certainly revolutionize us!" the goblin said. He then held up the bulb and pressed it against Halgrive's head. There was bursts of electricity coming out, and Halgrive fell to the floor. The last election was certainly his.

Cue the titles

GDG Base

"Drauss, do you remember the year 175? We met, and harnessed all this technology from the fleet we crashed? Everything, from a decent base, futuristic guns, even tanks and starfighters. But the best was security cameras. Luckily we placed a few cameras around Ardougne since the Horridan incident."

"Whats this about."

"Look at this footage."

He had a disc, and put it within a computer. It displayed images, of Halgrive being killed.

"Cave goblins? I thought they were good guys."

"But I did some research upon this. There was once a Dorgeshuun civil war in the Fourth Age. The rebels weren't so nice as the ones we see today. They were lead by General Bonehelm, and that certainly looks like him."

"The anomaly hasn't closed. Lets get set for Ardougne."

East Ardougne

Drauss, Cratus and La'ab arrived at East Ardougne. They were questioning the new councillor, Orbon.

"I had deep respect for Halgrive, before I became councillor" Orbon told them.

"Just tell us councillor. Was there any more deaths, or unusual sightings?"

"Come with me."

Orbon lead them behind a house, and they saw the anomaly.

"The strange glittering light. We've sealed it off, as you can see nearby."

They all saw armed guards on patrol.

"The killers are still out there, GDG. I beg of you, please stop any more deaths, for the sake of my position!"

"Don't worry councillor, consider it done."

Cratus, Drauss and La'ab walked off.

"Hes certainly worried about his precious councillorship. Wasn't he once a doctor that worked for Halgrive?" La'ab said.

"If thats the case, Orbon certainly doesn't give a damn about Halgrive's death" Drauss said.

The trio were following a series of bleeps from a scanner. They lead to the market square, and the trio split up to interrogate some of the traders and customers.

"Hey, pasta merchant, was there a series of strange sightings nearby?" Drauss asked a chef with a curly moustache.

"You buy the pizza yes?" the Italian man said.

"No, I asked if you saw anything strange."

"You want a spaghetti?"

"No, I -"

"Hey, you Asgarnian? You give a me a hard time in hotel!"

"What are you -"

"YOU ONLY GAVE A ME ONE PIECE OF TOAST WHEN I ASKED FOR TWO PIECE OF TOAST! THEN I ASKED FOR A FORK ON THE TABLE! THEN I ASKED FOR 2 SHEET ON A MY BED, AND YOU ONLY GIVE A ME ONE SHEET!"

Drauss walked back slowly, then ran off. The merchant started to shout swears in his language.

Cratus was speaking to the silver merchant.

"So, have you seen any strange phenoma lately?"

"No, me not sell strange phenoma, me sell silver!" the merchant shouted, as he slammed his fist on the stall. He also had, what seemed to be, a russian accent.

"Are you from the north?"

"Me from the motherland, where we crush puny Kandarians who do not buy silver!" he slammed his fist on the table again. Cratus backed away slowly, then ran off.

The trio ran back into the centre.

"I don't think any of us got any information." Cratus panted.

"You wouldn't believe it! Some guy wanted to take my skin!" La'ab said.

The trio found a manhole cover nearby. The sewer entrance was open.

"Well, here's the first step."

But then, there was huge webbed footprints, followed by smaller ones. The trio ran around the corner, and saw the bank topple over. Giant frogs with Dorgeshuun riding them were the culprits, and now they were attacking the market square.

The trio got their weapons out and started to shoot. The big frogs attacked, by using their tongues as whips, and hit Cratus. He fell over, unconscious. But then the frogs destroyed the stalls and surrounding buildings.

Then some Dorgeshuun on foot arrived and approached Drauss.

"Whats the point in this!" Drauss shouted in anger.

"I am General Bonehelm of the 10th Dorgeshuun battle squad!" Bonehelm barked, like an army sergeant.

"Ok Bonehelm, but this is not Dorgesh-Kaan, let alone your own time period!"

"This is a Dorgeshuun council trick! You humans are on their side! We shall destroy you!"

The cave goblins advanced on the duo, raising their light bulb weapons.

"But how can primitive goblins have... technology?" Drauss asked them.

"The Dorgeshuun invented the light bulbs, only for Dorgesh-Kaan. They beat swords and spears any day!" Bonehelm replied.

"But what are you fighting for, Bonehelm?"

"Thats a secret, but its for good causes, you traitors!"

"Look, it is a civil war between your people, not ours! Humans would not get involved in a goblin war."

"In the end, we rebels are fighting for peace!"

"Look, just go back through the - "

The Dorgeshuun giant frogs surrounded them. But La'ab had an idea. He got a piece of paper, and started writing on it. He then presented it to Bonehelm.

"Fine, you were right about us. Now, Ur-Tur, a council member, wants the fighting to cease and you to sign this treaty."

Bonehelm hesitated, but he signed.

All the Dorgeshuun that came through the anomaly were being told to go back through. They obeyed, and it closed as the last frog entered.

"They were hiding in the sewers, Drauss. I remember rumours of sewer creatures not too long ago..." La'ab said.

"Well, that was a very good plan you had there. I never would have thought of that. Now lets wake up Cratey..."

They walked away, and a newspaper flew by. The headline read "Guess who comings back."

Characters

 * Drauss
 * Cratus
 * General Bonehelm
 * Halgrive
 * La'ab
 * Councillor Orbon
 * Cave Goblins
 * Italian Man
 * Silver merchant

Roots

 * Doctor Who
 * The Italian Man who went to Malta