Noob (Species): An exhaustive report by Dr. Haru Samazanba.

What the heck is it? Where did it come from? Why is it so annoying? What's that smell?

These are all common questions, frequently asked by players who have visited Lumbridge. Numerous tomes have been written of this horrifying species (See the Related Articles section of this page), but this one may be the most complete. But what is this species? It is known as...

THE NOOB.

General Perception
First, this is incredibly important, as Noobs are not perceived well on any of the worlds with psychic links to Earth. Most call them pests, and stay away, (a bit like a student with a teacher he doesn't like, and only visits when he has to) others take advantage of their tiny brains for profit.

The word Noob has, in Scape Standard, Runescape's most widespread language, degenerated into a curse word, or, more to the point, slang for "you suck". In fact, on a crowded F2P server, the word "noob" befouls the air once every 30 seconds.

Haru Samazanba Axeman has been working in cooperation with Noob Protectors to cut back on insulting use of the word.

Terms
This is the truly free-edit section, dedicated to noob-related terms. I will list the terms that I know here:


 * 1. Noob/n00b. The most generally used term. Possible meanings: 1) You suck, Low level, both of the things on the left.
 * 2) Nooblet. See above.
 * 3) Nub.
 * 4) Newb. In my opinion, harmless. Just means low level, not derogatory at all.
 * 5) noobcake

Uncommon terms:


 * 6) Narb
 * 7) Froob. 1, a player who never left Lumbridge, 2, high-lvl that looks weak.
 * 8) Choob. 1, immature high level, or low-lvl account created by famous high lvl to escape beggars. for future reference, do not EVER write chooblet on this. That will turn this from somewhat insulting crap to... well, due to guidelines regarding swearwords, I won't say it. For future reference, no terms involving swearwords!

Biology
8/10 times, out of 8/10 Noobs are perpetually in a semiconscious, yet incredibly obnoxious state, tending to do behavior such as begging, and speaking a strange, somewhat incomprehensible language known as 1337, or leet, which uses numerals, letters, and those weird symbols at the top of your keyboard you rarely use. We'll get to that later.

Noobs are the easiest place to find the Noob Gene, a strange gene with a stranger characteristic: once a player goes above level 35 in any skill besides Wodcutting or Firemaking (less insulting to skillers, huh?), it will disintegrate, give the player a painful electric shock, causing the brain to "wake up" causing coherent speech patterns, heightened senses, and a bitter dislike of anyone with a noob-related title. However, when angered, a noob can release nubitis into the air. Nubitis is a disease that turns people into noobs, uses high-lvl noncombat skills as combat bonuses, and can cause massive chaos. It has surfaced five times in the Haruverse, usually being beaten back by Haru with a Noob Bomb Launcher and a battleaxe.

1337, a.k.a Leet
(For more information, visit: http://leet.wikia.com/wiki/Leet)

Noobs tend to have an inability to speak anything but this. I may have explained this already, but it defies known grammar. to make it more comprehensible, some noobs speak a rhythmic 1337 dialect. oddly, this is the only useful part of the noob gene.